She is under no obligation to call YOU sir. She is not “like other subs.” She is MY sub, not yours. Please don’t project your expectations on to our relationship. Also, here is a lesson for you: don’t tell other Doms how to treat, punish, or give lessons in protocol to their subs. That is Bush League BS. A real Dom would know that, and would have had the respect to contact me first. So, fuck off.
Reblogging for my Sir’s stellar answer, and with his permission to add my thoughts:
I call quiet-dom Sir because he has earned that title of respect from me by loving, trusting, and being present for me every day of our last 8 years together. I call him Sir as one of the ways I show him the huge amount of respect I have for his place in my life. I call him Sir because he is MY Dominant as much as I am HIS submissive, and we are both very happy with that sense of belonging. Finally I call him Sir because he requests it, it pleases him, and that pleases me.
So anon, whoever you may be, I am sure I did not call you Sir. Even if you are A dominant (and I have my doubts) you are not MY dominant, and you have not earned that title from me. There is only one man in my life that I will ever call Sir, and you are not him. Maybe someday you will EARN the respect from a submissive that my quiet-dom has earned from me. Good luck with that.
Ahhhhh the signs of an immature dominant. The asker, mind you, not Q-D.
I grew up part of my youth in the south. Sir and Ma’am are signs of politeness and respect for me. I may refer to someone as Sir now and then with no more meaning than that. Interestingly I am finding I am more and more hesitant to use it now though, in a sexual manner, unless giving that humble submission. In the D/s world, a submissive owes no Dominant/Domme their submission until they choose to give it.
Ownership isn’t free, it comes at a high price and of infinite value. Treat it as such.
I too live in the south was raise with “Sir and Ma’am” as signs of respect and I too find I use it in that regard less.
And come on. The question…anon and douchy. Jesus. What as ass.
Seriously? Did this wanna be Dom just try to undermine a true Dom? Here’s a tip for alllllll you wannas out there.
Put down 50 Shades of Shit. Grow a back bone, ditch the fucking ego.
Submission is a GIFT. It has to be GIVEN NOT EXPECTED. You want respect, you have to earn it first. Respect isn’t something given to just anyone. Respect is a gift in and of itself.
If she/he is not YOUR sub, do not expect to be called Sir or Ma’am. They owe you nothing. There is a price for everything in this world. Respect and submission carry one of the highest prices. Get over yourself you feeble minded twat.
Respect is earned. Even if it’s simple respect earned by how you carry yourself when you meet someone. It’s pretty damn obvious NO ONE should call this guy ‘Sir’ for any reason. And like Catie said, put that 50 shades shit down.
BAHAHAHAHHAHAHA Hurrah for Insta-Doms.
If he’s talking about Protocol and meaning to say High Protocol instead, he shouldn’t have even contacted another Dom’s submissive in the first place without obtaining permission from the Dominant. If he means protocol in terms of basic politeness, he had nothing to be bitching about since he even said himself that the submissive responded politely.
There was this one event that I went to. And I’ve never been back to it because of this. This was a play party where A/attendees identified themselves by what D/s role they are by a system of colour coding. I identified as a Dominant, specifically a Pro-Domme. I was mingling about I happened to introduce Myself to someone. I said “Hello, my name is Lara. What is yours?” This twat extended his hand for me to kiss and said “You may call me Sir, little girl.”
I responded with “I’ll call you Sir once you beg for My cock in your ass” and then I walked away. The look of shock on his face was adorable.
Granted, I am less than polite to those who feel the need to act so tactless. But I NEVER expect anyone at all to call Me Domina / Mistress / Miss Lara / Ma’am / Goddess / Mommy / etc etc etc. I’d be an asshat if I thought I deserved that from any and everyone I meet or virtually converse with. If you’d like to call me by any of those things, that is your prerogative. The only submissive/slave that is MY submissive/slave is one that I have collared and one that has received my primal marking. And then and ONLY then will I even think about insisting on titles.
Submission (and Dominance, and all other forms of respect and attention) is a gift. If its not your fucking birthday, you don’t get any of the presents. So sit the fuck down.
The true heart of why little insta-dom/me shitbrains feel like they deserve respect and titles from any and all peoples who remotely identify as bottom (and/or identify as females) is simple: they think they are better than the person they are talking to. As a matter of fact, I’m not entirely sure they consider the person they’re talking to a person. It is alright to have sexual fantasies, about a relationship type or even a particular person, and want a situation that closely mimics that fantasy as possible, and therefore try to talk to people to recreate that fantasy. It is even alright just to talk to people when you identify as a toppy person when the person you are talking to identifies as a bottomy person outside of scene space. As a matter of fact, that’s more than alright, I imagine many of us would like you to do that more! Because we are people, and expect to be treated as such, except for the particular situations with the particular people whom have our explicit consent to treat us as something other than a person. What it is not alright to do, however, is treat anyone who is not your version of a dom/me or who identifies as anything bottomy as if they are less than human and therefore not deserving of the respect that you’re demanding they give to you, because your sexual fantasies are more important than acknowleding their personhood. Nor is it alright to try and hone in on someone else’s bottom/sub/slave/property/pet/little/HOWEVERTHEFUCKTHEYIDENTIFYINTHEIRRELATIONSHIP because you think you’re the only dom/me in the world, and demand that they call you whatever you like. Because you, random stranger, or even you, person who feels they’ve likely been friendzoned because how dare that person like that other person more than me, are not better than anyone, not even yourself. And if you can’t accept that and begin to treat everyone like the human beings they are unless given explicit consent not to, then you’re most definitely not better than me.